Don’t expect or compare, find your own path.

Written by Charli Dimelow

In August 2021, our sweet little Teddy made his entrance into the world, arriving 4 weeks early when we weren’t quite ready for him. His nursery was more of a storage space for a few months than a cozy bedroom, but that’s okay. When Teddy arrived, he was checked by paediatricians, nurses, and doctors to make sure he was well enough to come home with us the next day. We brought him back to his sister and started our new life as a family of four.

But soon, life threw us some curveballs, and we found ourselves on a journey we never expected. At just two weeks old, Teddy started having some breathing issues related to bronchiolitis, and we ended up in the hospital. It was there, during a routine check, that someone mentioned the term “sandal gap”—a gap between his big toe and the next one. Curious (and a little anxious), I did what any worried parent does and Googled it. What I found was that it could be a sign of Down Syndrome. At the time, we had no real knowledge of what that meant, but we raised it with our health visitor. Despite meeting with many doctors by this point, no one had ever mentioned it.

After weeks of worry, chasing answers, and feeling uncertain, we were referred to a paediatric team. I went to that appointment with my 6-week-old baby, expecting just another checkup, and left with an unconfirmed diagnosis of Down Syndrome. Suddenly, my world, which had been full of simple baby moments, was filled with worries about what the future might hold. They handed me a long list of possible health issues with little support, and it was a moment I will never forget.

But here’s what I learned in that moment, and every moment since: no one knows your child like you do. Every illness, every hospital visit, we learned to trust our instincts, even when the doctors didn’t have all the answers. Sometimes, as parents, you have to rely on that deep knowing within you, even when everything feels uncertain.

Coming to terms with Teddy’s diagnosis wasn’t easy. It’s a journey full of more questions than answers, and it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. But here’s what I’ve learned over time: there is no one way forward. There’s no perfect path, no “right” way to go. There are twists and turns, bumps in the road, and unexpected blessings. The best thing we can do as parents is to be there for our children, support them, and walk beside them on their own unique journey.

While Down Syndrome doesn’t have a checklist of illnesses that are guaranteed, it can come with certain health conditions—things like heart issues, increased vulnerability to illnesses, lower muscle tone, and developmental delays. What I’ve learned early on, though, is that no two children with Down Syndrome are the same. Every child is their own person, with their own strengths, challenges, and beautiful differences. And that’s what makes their journey so special.

Every step of Teddy's development fills us with more and more pride. Watching him grow and change is such a joy, and I find myself marveling at all he accomplishes. But I won’t lie—there are still moments when I catch myself comparing him to his sister at the same age or to other children his age. It's natural, but it's also something I remind myself to work through. As a mother, I know it's a constant effort to let go of those comparisons, but I will keep trying.

There is no “perfect” way to parent, no magic formula or trick that guarantees everything will go smoothly. Some days are easier than others, but most days are about doing the best we can in the moment, making choices based on love, patience, and trust in our children. It’s a daily journey, and we are learning as we go, just like other parents.

We are just passengers in Ted's journey and will always support any decision to ensure he has every opportunity to thrive.